Here we go again. You’ve had a long day, or are about to have one, and some dude thinks he can worm his way onto your “to do” list. It’s always the same, those one liners that make you think, “How did you really think this little conversation would end up?” These next few stories should have the guys working on their A game…. and ladies, enjoy the laugh.

Pennsylvania native Sayda recounts a failed attempt, “It was sent to me as a myspace message, yeah that’s right, myspace. It was by some dude I didn’t even know and it said ‘Girl, Fidel Castro must have really done you wrong to have brought you here to America and into my presence.’ One I am not Cuban and two, that is so wrong.” Too bad for that guy, his message got deleted and he was blocked. Shame.

Then there are the more… simple minded and less inventive one liners (sounds nicer than plain stupid). College cutie Samanthia has heard it all including, “Is your name Campbells? ‘Cuz your mm mm good!!” Ummm, we’ll just say that relationship didn’t go very far. Though he might have been handy for winter colds, oh well.

And what about the men? One brave soul named Wayne fessed up. “If there was anything I could be I would wanna be your tear so I could be born in your eyes, live on your cheek and die on your lips.” Very Romeo and Juliet… too bad they both died in that book. Not wanting to bruise the male ego you could also go with the pretentious, “I just wanted to notify you that I noticed you noticing me, so I’m letting you know I noticed you too.” Thanks Wayne.

Or if you happen to be in Milan, like I was a few months ago, you just might get it straight up. “Excuse me Miss, do you need a husband?” Thankfully “No!” in English is the same in Italian.